This morning I sit here wishing to be closer to those who have lost a loved one to suicide. To put you all in a room and send a loud message of our pain to the heavens, but we are scattered all around. What we do to try to prevent more loss is often alone, or with people who can help but don’t really understand. This morning’s coffee was not full of its usually cream and sugar, but equally filled up by salty tears as I read through yet another email from someone who has found Joshua’s story. Each word a gift from another angel trying to understand why this world can be so cruel. As I read about her loneliness and her desire to help her boyfriend’s mom, I felt far away, as if she was a long lost family member. The word sister survivor has become dear to me and I would much love to surround myself with all of you all of the days of my life. What you know is what I know. What you feel is what I feel. Your love for every remaining second of life! Your nausea as people complains about the mundane going on around you. You are my sisters and brothers, you are my family and without you I might not have survived.
My goal is to figure out how we might unite? How we might take our individual strength and share it with the new comers, who can’t see the light, can’t even see the tunnel. A grand Care Bear Stare to light up even the bleakest of days. Ideas welcome as each of you from all across the globe realize how close we really are.
Today, my friend you are on my heart as is his mom! I wish, like I always do that you were in my kitchen, sharing a cup of coffee and seeing from my own life that you WILL make it through this and if you let it…this will change you from who you are to who you are meant to be. I promise.
Xoxoxoxo
Joshua’s Mommy
