Each year you loved Christmas. “Mommy (you always called me mommy) can we please leave Santa a note and cookies and milk and oh and carrots for the reindeer”. You would ask in a voice that never changed. Then you would flutter upstairs and try everything you could to fall asleep. Your father and I would place the plate with the cookies and the milk and then take a bite, knowing how each year you were so astonished that Santa actually paused to eat and drink of your snack! . Your “happy thoughts” the ones that made you jump up and down and flap your arms like you might fly away, came often. It didn’t matter where you were or what you were doing, if one came your face lit up and you could barely contain yourself. Christmas morning was a time for many happy thoughts.
Today as I pulled out the box of Christmas decorations, your memory filled the living room. A wreath shaped cut out with a tiny school picture from 3rd grade, an ornament hand made with cousins, something of course with macaroni stuck to it and many other tokens of your happy childhood will again adorn my tree. I know that it is said that you cant take things with you, but I could never be more thankful for each earthly treasure I have left that your beautiful hands made.
Again just like the past many years, there is a hole in Christmas! A hole in my heart and one person missing at the table. I can only hope that you see me still doing all of these things, no matter how pointless they sometimes feel….so that I can stay close to your memory.
I miss you.
Mom
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